


One Step at a time

by Destiel



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Canon Related, Family Feels, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, legal guardian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23789695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiel/pseuds/Destiel
Summary: Set somewhere after Eddie was finally safe (after "Eddie begins") but before the school presentation, I guess... Having a near-death experience, puts things into perspective for Eddie Diaz, and he can't help but wonder what would happen to Christopher if some day he REALLY didn't make it home. So he needs to have a talk with Buck about that...
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 156





	One Step at a time

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> So... this is the first time I'm posting something in this fandom... and after last night's episode, I just couldn't get the idea out of my head. I have to admit, "Station 19" gave me a bit of the inspiration as well, as Dean had to make a decision what happens to his daughter should he die in the line of duty as well, so after what happened to Eddie, I thought he sure as hell must have similiar thoughts...
> 
> I actually didn't mean for the story to get out of hand like this. I originally only meant to have them talk, but it seems like Buck and Eddie had other ideas how they wanted this one-shot to go... XD So you can blame them.
> 
> Like I said: First time in this fandom, and English is not my Native Language. I also don't have a beta-reader, but I read the story now 10 times and hopefully I found all the mistakes. If not, I'm really sorry... I tried my best... I just wanted to post it as soon as I could.
> 
> Kudos are awesome, but Comments would be even nicer, if you liked what you read.
> 
> I don't know what's going to happen with Buck and Eddie in the show, but no matter what, I will always love them and ship them and they have already given us something where special, no matter where their relationship goes.
> 
> Thanks, and enjoy!

** One Step at a time **

Buck had just set down a bag of groceries on his kitchen counter when Eddie’s message had arrived.

_Can you come over? We need to talk!_

It had sounded so urgent, that Buck had just grabbed his car keys and left the apartment. Without a second thought. They had just seen each other this morning, when Buck had taken Eddie home from the hospital, but it didn’t matter. Eddie called, or in this case messaged, and Buck ran. Like he always did.

And the other way round.

Buck was still a bit shaken up from everything that had happened yesterday. For a moment he had really thought he had lost Eddie. For good. The lightning had hit and the hole they had dug to get the kid out and in which Eddie was still trapped had been gone in a matter of seconds. Buck had thought he would never see him again in this moment. It had been difficult to breath and his heart had ached in a way it hadn’t done in a long time. He didn’t even want to imagine a world without Eddie.

But Eddie was okay. Aside from a few bruises and hypothermia he was perfectly fine. He had been lucky that he had found a way out through the tunnels underneath. Buck was pretty sure they wouldn’t have found him in time, if he hadn’t.

They had kept him in the hospital over night for observation. And of course Buck had come to get him in the morning. Eddie had tried to insist that he could get home alone, told him he’d call a cab or an uber, but there was no way Buck would have let him out of his sight any longer than necessary. Buck had made sure Eddie was fine when he had left his place for Eddie to get some rest while Christopher was at school. He had planned to sneak back in later and surprise him with a home-cooked meal – not that he was the best cook, but he at least wanted to try – but that plan had flown right out of the window when Eddie’s message had arrived on his phone.

And now there he was, standing in front of Eddie’s house, fishing for his keys, to unlock the door.

“Hey Eddie, it’s me! I’m coming in,” he warned, just in case Eddie wasn’t dressed or anything like that.

Not that it mattered.

“I’m here! Living-Room!”, Eddie’s voice came back.

Immediately, Buck entered the house and walked in.

Eddie was sitting on the couch, looking up to him with a smile on his face as soon as he saw him.

“Hey,” Buck greeted him.

Eddie’s face was still a little bruised, but otherwise he seemed fine.

“Hey,” Eddie gave back. He placed a hand next to himself and gestured for Buck to sit down.

And Buck immediately did.

He was nervous, to say at least. He had no idea what was going to happen or why he was even here, but he was sure it was important.

“So...?” he started, looking at Eddie expectantly. “Is everything okay? Are you in any pain?”

“No, nothing like that,” Eddie hurriedly said. “I just...”

A little sigh left Eddie’s lips. He looked down for a moment, kneading his fingers. He seemed just as nervous as Buck.

“What is it?” Buck asked gently. “You know you can talk to me about anything.”

A smile appeared on Eddie’s lips.

“Yes. Yes, I know...”

He turned to look at Buck again.

“The thing is- I- I almost died yesterday. I know it was a close call, and a few minutes more and I wouldn’t be sitting here today.”

Buck felt a lump building in his throat. He wanted to say something, anything, but no words left his mouth. It had been one of the worst moments of his life to think he had lost Eddie.

“When something like that happens, it puts things into perspective,” Eddie went on. “All I could think about when I tried to find my way out of these tunnels was Christopher. And what would happen to him if I didn’t come home. He- he’s the reason I’m still here. For a moment there, I really thought this is it. I’m done. But then I remembered that Chris still needs me. And that gave me the strength to make it to the surface.”

“He will always need you,” Buck replied, his voice way hoarser than intended. He couldn’t even imagine what must have gone through Eddie’s head in these moments.

“Yeah,” Eddied nodded. “But you know as well as I do, that in a job like ours, people don’t always make it home. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“What do you mean?” Buck asked.

“Since last night I can’t stop thinking about what happens to Christopher, if I don’t make it home. Who he should be with. How he should grow up, if I can’t be the one raising him,” Eddie explained.

Buck shook his head.

“Don’t- don’t say something like that, please.”

“But it’s important to me to know he’s in good hands if anything ever happens to me. I wanna know that he’ll be okay. Which is why I needed to talk to you, Buck. I- I want you to be his legal guardian,” Eddie said calmly, looking directly into his eyes. “I want him to have someone he loves and trusts if the worst happens.”

“Me?” Buck stared at Eddie wide-eyed.

“Yes, you!”, Eddie confirmed. “I know Chris will always have a home at the firehouse, and everyone there loves him, but you’re already like a second father to him. You are the one I want to take care of him, if I can’t.”

Shaking his head, Buck took a deep breath.

“I’m not... I’m not a father, Eddie. I wouldn’t know what to do and how to do it. I’m messy, you know that... and I’m chaotic, I’m not parent-material.”

“Just you saying that makes you the perfect choice,” Eddie disagreed.

“Look, I wasn’t always the best father either. I wasn’t even a dad to him in the beginning. He barely knew me, because I was always out on missions, re-enlisting over and over again.”

“You tried to make the world a better place,” Buck weighted in.

Eddie shook his head.

“I ran away from the responsibility. I wasn’t there for Christopher and neither for Shannon. When I should have been a partner for my wife, I wasn’t. I made a lot of mistakes. But I learned from them, and when Shannon left and I was alone with Christopher suddenly, I knew I had to step up and finally be a dad. And it was the best decision ever.”

“I’m not like you, Eddie,” Buck sighed. “I never had to take care of a kid. Some would say I’m still a kid myself, just ask Maddie.”

He wanted to make a joke to lighten the mood, but that didn’t really help, because Eddie just stared at him with this intense look in his eyes. How could he say no to him in this situation?

“Are you sure you don’t rather want your parents to take him in? Or Bobby and Athena or Hen and Karen? They know how to be a parent, they already have kids,” Buck once again tried to convince Eddie that he was making a mistake.

“I’m sure I want it to be you,” Eddie confirmed.

“No one expects you to be perfect, Buck. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. You love Chris. I know that you do, and that you would do anything for him. That’s more than enough for me.”

Taking a deep breath, Buck finally nodded.

“Okay.”

Just one word, but it was all he could say in this moment. In this situation. It was just all to overwhelming to properly react to it. Too much.

It made Buck realize just how much Eddie really trusted him. To be willing to let him raise his son in case something happened to him was the biggest sign of confidence Eddie could have ever given him. Obviously, Eddie had more faith in him than he had in himself.

“Okay, as you’re going to be his guardian?” Eddie asked, the relief visible on his face.

“Yes,” Buck confirmed. “If you’re really sure-“

He didn’t get any further, because suddenly he found himself in Eddie’s arms, his face pressed flat against Eddie’s chest while his hands were on his back, holding him tightly. All he could do was hug him back, closing his eyes for a moment.

It felt good.

More than just good.

He could hear Eddie’s heart beating in his chest, could feel the warmth of his fingertips through the fabric of his shirt. He could have stayed in this position forever, if it wasn’t for Eddie finally letting go of him enough so they could look at each other again.

“Thank you, Buck. That really means the world to me,” Eddie said softly.

Buck couldn’t help but smile.

“You better not die on me anytime soon, or I’m gonna kill you myself.”

Eddie chuckled.

“I’ll try my best.”

“You better more than just try,” Buck warned.

“I have you to have my back, so I guess you’ll have to take better care of me from now on,” Eddie joked.

It felt good to be able to laugh again, after everything they had just went through, and that didn’t even include their conversation just now.

“I will always have your back,” Buck replied. “And I’ll always take care of you. Just like you are always taking care of me.”

“That’s what family is for, isn’t it?” Eddie gave back, sliding closer to Buck.

“Family? Is that what we are?” Buck asked, his knee touching Eddie’s.

Things had been quite complicated with his own family. He wouldn’t even say he ever had a real family. Buck had left home as soon as he had turned 18. Just like Maddie had before him. And it had been the right thing to do. There had never been a feeling of love and being loved at home. Which was probably the reason both, he and his sister, were so messed up.

Firehouse 118 was the first time he had ever felt like people really cared about him. Bobby had given him a home by taking a chance on him and Hen and Chimney had treated him like a brother the moment he had walked into the station. He considered all of them his family.

Eddie, though, was different.

Buck had been so jealous of him in the beginning, had thought that he was going to be replaced by the new hot-shot just waltzing into his home, but instead the family had just expanded with Eddie becoming a part of the team. Buck had learned pretty quickly that there was no reason for him to hate Eddie. That in fact, Eddie was one of the greatest guys he had ever met. Eddie had been nothing but kind to him, right from the start, had welcomed him into his house, and into his own little family with open arms.

The moment Buck had seen Eddie with Christopher for the first time, he had known he wanted to be in their life. Be a part of it.

And now he was.

“Yes, Buck. Like I said before. You’re almost like Christopher’s second father,” Eddie said, placing one of his hand’s on Buck’s thigh. “You- you’re amazing, and you know that.”

Buck looked down for a moment, then back into Eddie’s eyes. His heart started to beat faster and he was barely able to breath, way too caught in this moment.

Was Eddie trying to flirt with him or was that just wishful thinking? Was he giving Buck signs or was he misreading the situation?

Buck needed to know if he was imagining things, if it was his mind playing tricks on him.

His feelings for Eddie had been more than just platonic for quite a while now. He didn’t even know when they had changed, couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when he had fallen in love with Eddie Diaz, but if yesterday had taught him one thing, then it was that life was short and that it was time to take a leap of faith.

He hadn’t come here to do just that, though.

Had he been able to do it his way – cook dinner for Eddie and spend the evening with him – he probably would have found the right moment then.

But maybe that moment was now.

Before he said anything else, he leaned forward, placing a hand on Eddie’s cheek and pulling him closer. He looked deep into his gentle, brown eyes, trying to assess the situation. There was no rejection, just warmth and openness. Which was confirmation enough.

Closing the distance between them, Buck softly placed his lips on Eddie’s, his eyes falling shut as soon as he felt Eddie respond to the kiss.

Eddie’s arms wrapped around him. He pulled him closer until Buck was sitting on his lap, deepening the kiss.

Almost simultaneously they opened their mouth. Eddie’s tongue slid between Buck’s lips, moving against Buck’s, sending shivers down Buck’s spine and electric impulses through his whole body. It was exhilarating, almost intoxicating, and he never wanted to stop again. And he wouldn’t have, hadn’t he suddenly needed to breath.

“Oh my god,” he managed to say, opening his eyes to look at Eddie. “You have no idea how long I wanted this.”

“Me too,” Eddie admitted, smiling at him.

Surprised, Buck tilted his head.

“Really?”

Eddie nodded.

“Really.”

Gently, Buck started to caress Eddie’s cheeks, leaning forward to press a kiss on his forehead, then on his nose, and another one on his lips.

“Are we doing the right thing here?” he asked carefully, knowing full well that they were moving into unknown territory. They had just crossed a line they couldn’t uncross and Buck couldn’t deny that – despite all the happiness – he was also worried. He had never had a friend like Eddie, and now he was risking it all just to take their relationship to the next level.

“I don’t know,” Eddie replied truthfully. “But it feels good, doesn’t it?”

Buck nodded. He couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips.

“Oh yeah... Better than just good.”

“So why question it?” Eddie gave back. “Let’s just... take it slow... one step at a time... and see where it leads us. Sound good?”

Again, Buck nodded.

“Sounds perfect.” He paused, smirking at Eddie. “That does include going on kissing you, right?”

Eddie chuckled amusedly.

“Yeah, I guess that would be the appropriate thing to do.”

Before Buck could act himself, Eddie had already pulled him closer again and pressed his lips against Buck’s. And all Buck could do was melt into him and respond to the kiss.

It was the best feeling in the world.

He felt better than he had in a long time.

He felt at ease.

Despite everything they had talked about before.

They could do this, one way or another.

They would find a way to navigate their relationship, wherever it would take them.

Buck just kew he was happy for the first time in a long time. And he would do anything for it to stay that way.


End file.
